Rule 5 - Improving Your Lie
Every recreational golfer lives in the gap between where the ball is and where they feel it ought to be. Rule 5 governs that gap: winter rules all year, the discreet roll, and the fifteenth club the Handbook refuses to acknowledge yet everybody owns.
The Rule (reproduced verbatim from the Dad Golf Handbook)
Purpose of Rule: governs the gap between where your ball is and where you deserve it to be.
5.1 Winter rules are in effect year-round. Winter is a state of mind.
5.2 A ball may be rolled with the clubhead to a better lie provided the player maintains eye contact with the horizon and says nothing.
5.2a The Foot Wedge is not recognized by this Handbook and is also its most-used rule. Deployment must be silent, casual, and deniable. A Foot Wedge performed while a Crew member is watching counts as a stroke AND a character reveal.
5.3 A ball resting against a tree root may be moved one club-length for safety. The safety being protected is your wrists, your club, and your afternoon.
5.4 - The Divot Clause. A ball lying in someone else's un-repaired divot may be lifted and placed without penalty, accompanied by a loud speech about society.
5.5 Improving your lie in a bunker is impossible. The bunker already knows. The bunker always knows.
PENALTY FOR A WITNESSED FOOT WEDGE: one stroke, one beer, and the Crew refers to you as "twinkle toes" for no fewer than three holes.
Official Ruling 5.2a/1: Shrey was observed by the entire Crew nudging his ball off a root while loudly asking what everyone was ordering at the turn. The Committee rules the distraction technique inadmissible, applies the full penalty, and commends the commitment.
Deploy the foot wedge silently or not at all, and never forget that the bunker already knows. The bunker always knows.