Rule 9 - Conduct, Commentary, and the Group Chat
Golf is a quiet game right up until someone films you. Rule 9 governs conduct, commentary, and the group chat, from the assault of a cough in your backswing to the perpetual, unwithdrawable consent you gave the day you were added.
The Rule (reproduced verbatim from the Dad Golf Handbook)
Purpose of Rule: governs what may be said, filmed, and posted.
9.1 Talking during a backswing is assault. Coughing during a backswing is premeditated assault. A phone ringing during a backswing at full volume with a novelty ringtone is grounds for the Crew to invent a new penalty on the spot.
9.2 "Nice shot" said BEFORE the ball lands in a bunker cannot be retracted, and the sayer owns partial responsibility for the bunker.
9.3 Advice may only be offered when requested. Unsolicited swing tips ("you're coming over the top") carry an automatic one-beer penalty payable to the victim, doubled if the tipper then hits a worse shot.
9.4 - Group Chat Law. Any shot filmed belongs to the Crew in perpetuity. Consent to be filmed was given the day you joined the group chat and cannot be withdrawn. The chat's archive outlives us all.
9.4a A player may not post their own good shot to the chat without including their next bad one. Context is a legal requirement.
9.5 What is said on the course stays on the course, except everything funny, which must be repeated at every future gathering with escalating detail.
PENALTY FOR BREACH OF RULE 9: determined by the Crew, in the chat, by a vote you will lose.
Official Ruling 9.4a/1: Shrey posted a slow-motion clip of a flushed hybrid with three fire emojis and no context. The Committee finds a 9.4a violation and orders the immediate release of the companion footage from the same round, comprising one shanked pitch and audio the Committee has sealed for taste reasons.
Offer advice only when asked, post your good shots with the required context, and make peace with the archive. The chat outlives us all.